A POEM I WROTE once upon a time

THE GIRL IN THE SNAKESKIN PANTS Thursday, May 18, 2000 He returned that night an awful fright And looked a mite disheveled. So sad and blue—but you’d be too Had you been thus “she-deviled” In snakeskin pants she came to dance Her top no more than sequins Wore nine-inch heels as wide a wheels And that’s but where she begins “But first we dine, dear love of mine” He was feeling rather handsome But by the time she’d done her dine He’d spent a royal ransom She dined on mince and slices of quince And topped it off with champagne Next came cheese blintz and cocktail shrimp Then voila, the main course came Fillet Minion—one pearl onion A sauce made out of capers Trout Almondine next on the scene Was wrapped in fine rice papers The desert bar—stood not too far She lit off in a tizzy Just the desert—made his wallet hurt And made his head feel dizzy Then off they tore to the parquet floor To tango and to rumba Before ‘twas o’er his feet were sore And he was wheezy in his tumba What may excite before the night May make you feel like Tarzan But in the sun—when it’s said and done Will you still think you’re a “He-man?”