VISITING WITH “PAPA”

THURSDAY, JULY 01, 2010 - Last night I took both of my goofy pills—a prescription pain killer and a prescription muscle relaxant. At noon I was still feeling the effects so I laid back down for a nap. At about two I woke up from a wonderful dream. I was the age I am now, sixty-six, yet younger somehow. I was in an old house with my parents, my children and at least one little one, a boy younger than my grandson Gavin I think, but walking, mostly holding onto my finger. My grandpa James “Anthony” Jepson had come for a visit. We talked on and on about many things especially the past. The two of us were as close as any grandpa and grandson could possible get. He mentioned at one point that he was well pleased that I had named one of my sons, James Anthony in honor of him. After a long interaction, perhaps over several days, “Papa” announced he had an appointment with someone somewhere. I assumed he would return. I offered to escort him there. He gladly accepted my offer and off the three of us went. We had the toddler in toe with us. We ambled down the street still talking. He was wearing a light two tone brown suite and a brown brimmed hat. He was wearing rimmed glasses; the same ones he always wore. I mentioned that I had bought the old house I grew up in but that the previous owners had torn it down and build a new modern one in its stead so it really isn’t the old house after all. We didn’t bother to go see it though it was only a couple of blocks away. Grandpa wanted to visit the old drugstore, the one “I used to take you to when you were little.” When we got there we had to climb four or five brick steps up to the door. I carefully held his arm and assisted him up. When we got inside, it had changed little from “the old days”. Grandpa soon was happily engaged in conversation with the shop owner and his wife about "way back then". There were a few other customers in there too. The store was small, maybe 10X30 though there were two doors, the one in the center of the long wall, the one we entered and another at the far right end as you are facing the shop. There was an old cash register and old scales to measure candy etc in. I recognized the back wall from when I was a toddler and told them so. They were pleased. Finally Grandpa said it was time to go. This time we passed the other door/stairs and left through the end door. On the right side of these stairs which were longer than the stairs we had used to enter the store, was a wide brick banister which bowed up slightly in the middle. It curved at the bottom to be horizontal with the street. It had been worn smooth by endless kids sliding down it over the decades. Grandpa got on this banister, laid down and slid to the bottom arriving in a sitting position. I knew though he didn’t say so that he used to do that “way back when”. I, in a semi-panic hurried down the steps to help him at the bottom. I arrived there at the same time he did but he was fine and pleased he could still do it. A woman, dressed in light blue if I remember correctly appeared at that time. I instinctively new she was the person or one of the people he was going to see. She took his arm. I was planning to continue on with them but I turned to help the toddler down the stairs and when I turned around again Grandpa and the lady in blue were nowhere to be seen. I looked all over trying to find them but I knew immediately it was all in vain. Something told me this was the last I would see "Papa" in this life. For sometime now I have been anxious to again be with my ancestors. I was Grandpa’s favorite and want to renew our relationship and tell him how sorry I was that we didn’t get to be together much after my toddler years. He was always gone to Mesa, Arizona doing temple work or living in a bedroom apartment with a bathroom down the hall near the Utah State Capitol. I only remember seeing him there once. As all of you that know me well, know, I am now in tears.