OH MY

Monday, March 19, 2012

I have had a headache for what seems like weeks or months much of the time not too bad; in the background; but too many times it has been severe and it seems like those times are getting to be more and more often. Yesterday Niki and her family and Corey and his were over for dinner and I spent most of the time on my bed. Between the headache itself and the “good” drugs I took I didn’t do much visiting with my grandkids. That scenario has happened too often lately.
Gracie has gotten so big, so cute and so alert.
(Judy’s probably right. If I take my prescription pain killers too often they will probably lose their effectiveness. I do mostly take over the counter stuff and they sometimes do the job or at least make the headaches more bearable but sometimes the pain is too intense. I am getter light sensitive more and more often too.)
For months I have been “struggling” with God and Jesus over what’s going on in my life and over a few blessings I would like to have. I’ve chosen to keep it between them and me albeit one of them is about my health. It is frustrating to me that I feel I have gotten no response from either of them. I told them that maybe I am not in tune but give me an answer I can recognize/understand; say no if that’s your answer; or yes on this but no on that, or later, or “You’ve got to be joking” or something.
I don’t know if I should just give up in frustration or doggedly keep plodding along with the same prayers over and over again, night after night or what. I am afraid I seldom think to say my morning prayers and end up adding them to my blessing on my breakfast.
The other night I found myself starting off my prayer with, “Father in Heaven what shall we talk about tonight”. Maybe it’s a good thing that I am feeling more personal and intimate with them. I even find myself making it a three way conversation between the Father and the Son and myself all at the same time; addressing Jesus personally as well as the Father.
This morning I woke up defeated; thinking I may as well just give up.
In other news, I had my annual eye doctor appointment this morning. My eyes are getting progressively worse but only by littles. Today my left eye “seemed” better. That is because my cataracts are getting worse. Explanation; though the one in my left eyes is significantly worse it has “relocated” to where it isn’t effecting my vision as much.
Dr. Gray said that I should get my cataracts removed in the next couple of years.
I should live so long!
I have felt nauseous all day (since last night) but not so bad that I thought I would actually throw up. I didn’t eat anything today until Bailey and I stopped at Burger King after school on the way to her swim practice. I had my usual Wopper Jr.; extra onions, extra pickles. I at a couple of Bailey’s fries and I drank a medium diet Coke. It made me feel better for half an hour or so.
Maybe I am just getting old.

Thank you for putting up with my rambling.